Tenzin Gyatso, the fourteenth and current Dalai Lama, is the leader of the exiled Tibetan government in India. He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989. Photographed during his visit in Cologno Monzese MI, Italy, on december 8th, 2007. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I saw the Dalai Lama the other day. Apparently, he is on a college tour and is collecting hats from around the nation (I can joke because he does too). I wish I could say it was a life-changing experience, but I did not feel any more enlightened after the two hours in which he spoke. However, I did resonate with the words he spoke.

The first part was a speech about compassion; the second part was a question and answer session. During the Q&A session someone asked about how to reconcile or get along with other religions. In his adequate English he talked about how India is as much a melting pot of religions as America, but that India is more a model to the world of how to coexist with thy neighbor. He emphasized that one should keep to the religious framework in which one grew up, as drastically changing our belief system could cause all sorts of confusion (or Confucian, were we to take the pun route).

His answers brought me to my happy thought: a peaceful coexistence of diversity and individuality. My dream is much like the Dalai Lama’s dream. I dream of a world where Pakistanis, Sikhs, Native Americans, and any others who religiously avoid cutting long hair can coexist in corporate America without any sort of harassment or frustration caused from having to repeat oneself and having to answer the same ignorant questions. Just if it was not clear in the beginning, fashion freedom is tied to all other sorts of human rights issues. In this situation, fashion freedom is intricately tied to religious freedom, one of the freedoms on which this country founded.

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Why do you think modern art is so prevalent? Because it doesn’t cause one to think. I understand you. I understand that what you are doing is to get people to think by what we wear. Sadly, we can’t. Clothing is too easy to misconstrue. People are not going to get it until we talk to them about why we wear what we wear, peacefully and constructively.

Don’t be angry, instead “forgive them for they know not what they have done.” (Luke 23:24). Most people don’t intend to be mean or hateful and those who do are crying out for love. Awareness is the key here. Awareness is what we need to spread throughout the nation and every nation.

However, if you do not dress to express your inner being, if you do not dress for art’s sake, and if you do not dress to get others to think, then I want to say this: If you think you get a lot of attention, you don’t. And you wouldn’t want it either. Some of you are beautiful by society’s standards. Just imagine how much attention you would get as a quadriplegic, or as a Siamese twin, or as a bearded lady. You do not even have hypertrichosis, or werewolf syndrome. You ain’t got nothing on attention-getting. I, or anyone else, would never do business with someone who only dresses radically to get attention. It makes everyone else who dresses  to send out a message about one’s inner being, or about observation’s of the surrounding culture, look bad and not brave. This is what makes people think that we do not deserve respect or to be treated as an intelligent human being, even though we are.

To the mainstream: In Switched at Birth, ABC Family TV show, the character Bay comes back from the Galapagos Islands with a feather in her hair. Her brother is not a fan, but she tells him something to the effect of “There’s nothing you can say that will make me take it out.” This is how the fashion-oriented feel when they are told how to dress for an interview or just to go to work to pay their bills. An example of this is tattoos. Tattoos are seen as a no-no to interviews. However, many tattoos are religious, military, related to love (e.g., “I love Mom” tattoos), or symbols of self-expression (even if the expression is one of humor).

Some Israelis bear Holocaust tattoos to remind others to remember the Holocaust or to bear the mark of pride that they are descendants of survivors: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/01/world/middleeast/with-tattoos-young-israelis-bear-holocaust-scars-of-relatives.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

To reduce it to an embarrassment or like a mole is to be disrespectful to the nth degree.

I have learned the importance of boundaries and what I will or will not tolerate. I will not tolerate people who inadvertently attempt to nullify one’s entire existence, which is what people do who do not understand the fashion-oriented. I will not tolerate those who attempt, even if unknowingly, to eradicate my pride or anyone else’s pride. Most tattoos, and other items of fashion, are a symbol of pride, perhaps showing that one is a survivor or showing that one is in love. Anyone who disregards the importance of symbols also disregards the importance of the sacred. To believe people will be willing to sacrifice a reminder or expression of the most significant moment or thing in their life for a paycheck (which is what employers do at interviews), is inhumane, cruel, hateful, and accepted.

If you are a religious person, if you wish to do no harm in this life, or if you do not want to feed the oppression, then I would encourage you to help spread the awareness of how the fashion-oriented are being dehumanized daily. Your neighbor’s ignorance is unacceptable when all you need to do is have an open conversation. The next time you see someone who chose self-expression over a paycheck, do not feel pity for that person, feel inspired.

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Switched at Birth (TV series) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I know that this is not about fashion-oriented people per se, but many fashion-oriented people, such as tattooed people can related. I was pleasantly surprised with how well ABC Family treated graffiti. The graffiti argument on The Forgiveness Tree episode of Switched at Birth really seems to express the feelings of those who like graffiti (or tattoos or whatever else), as well as those who just don’t get it.

Bay paints graffiti on her father’s wall at work. He is upset and asks her to paint over it, not knowing that she painted it herself. She argues with him about graffiti, being especially upset when he doesn’t differentiate between graffiti artwork and a tag.

This is what Bay says about why people, such as her, paint graffiti: It is people who are otherwise invisible, expressing themselves the only way they know how.

Eventually, someone convinces her that maybe if he knew it was her who painted the graffiti that his feelings for it would change, so she confesses that she did it.

Bay [to John]: thought you would like it

John [to Bay]: I feel like I don’t know you.

I’ve had my own moments like this. I feel the same way about my need to dress Goth and am glad to find a sentence expressing that sentiment so well. I have also been in the situation where I felt that my parents didn’t know me. However, ironically, it was lately that my father felt that I did not know him. We worked our way through that together and came out the other end alright.

I think A Course in Miracles sums up this episode well, as well as what I am trying to convey: “Perception follows judgment” –A Course in Miracles, Lesson 312

Cover of A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume

To that I would add (and this is key) that you are responsible for your own perceptions. For those who grew up in the Christian tradition, and many of those who are Goths were (in my experience), the Bible says this same thing in a different way:

“Judge not lest ye be judged” –Matthew 7:1

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Won’t Back Down

I’m really excited about Won’t Back Down! I’m not as excited about the movie as I am about the poster because the poster really says what I am trying to say: “If you can’t beat the system…change it.”

As most people in relationships know, you can’t change anyone. You can, however, get them to believe it was their idea to change. The best way to do that is to speak their language and research their lifestyle. You have to get inside their heads by understanding what they do and who they think they are. That I can do. I’m keenly aware of social cues and propriety and what society expects. One needs to know the rules before one can break them with grace. I am on your side. And I have inside knowledge.

Let’s talk about expressions. Going back to the quote, I really like the saying “If you can’t beat the system…change it.” Instead of thinking “Life sucks then you die” it makes one think of the sentence “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” Self-expression is a lot better than giving up. All the people who have decided not to buy into the uniformity game (literally by not wearing uniforms) have never been a fan of quotes such as “When in Rome do as the Romans do” or “If you can’t beat them, join them.” That you can see by the way they live their day-to-day lives. Sometimes dressing rebelliously might be perceived as passive-aggressive, but it is clearly a message even if the message seems to change depending on the perception of the viewer. However, as many learn later in life, “perception is [still] everything.” What I am trying to tell everyone is that perception goes a lot farther than clothing. We, as a group, need to leverage our voice, tone, body language, posture, words, intentions, moods, and attitude to get what we want: fashion freedom.

As you should know by now, I am a believer in individuality. That will always be true. We all have the right to move to the beat of our own drummer, even if it causes a cacophony of noise, but we do need to let others know what we’re going to do in an organized and peaceful “fashion” lest the government respond with the cavalry or SWAT team. Our revolution is even more peaceful than boycotts and sit-ins. Our revolution is a revolution of color and pins. Underneath all that is the desire for peace.

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¹al·ter·na·tive

adjective \ȯl-ˈtər-nə-tiv, al-\

Definition of ALTERNATIVE

1: alternate 1

2: offering or expressing a choice <several alternative plans>

3:different from the usual or conventional: as

a : existing or functioning outside the established cultural, social, or economic system <an alternative newspaper> <alternativelifestyles>

b :of, relating to, or being rock music that is regarded as an alternative to conventional rock and is typically influenced by punk rock, hard rock, hip-hop, or folk music

c : of or relating to alternative medicine <alternative therapies>

— al·ter·na·tive·ly adverb

— al·ter·na·tive·ness noun

See alternative defined for English-language learners »

See alternative defined for kids »

Examples of ALTERNATIVE

1. Scientists are developing an alternative approach to treating the disease.
2. He developed an alternative design for the new engine.

First Known Use of ALTERNATIVE

1540

²alternative

noun

Definition of ALTERNATIVE

1

a :a proposition or situation offering a choice between two or more things only one of which may be chosen

b : an opportunity for deciding between two or more courses or propositions

2

a :one of two or more things, courses, or propositions to be chosen

b : something which can be chosen instead alternative to intervention>

3

: alternative rock music

See alternative defined for English-language learners »

Examples of ALTERNATIVE

1. We decided to leave since our only other alternative was to wait in the rain.
2. I was offered no alternative.
3. The menu offered several vegetarian alternatives.

First Known Use of ALTERNATIVE

1576

Related to ALTERNATIVE

Synonyms: choice, discretion, druthers [dialect], election, liberty, option, pick, preference, selection, volition, way

[+]more

See Synonym Discussion at choice

al·ter·na·tive

adjective \ȯl-ˈtər-nət-iv, al-\   (Medical Dictionary)

I love all things alternative, alternative rock, alternative fashion, alternative news, alternative medicine, alternative lifestyles, and I started Lavoce due to my desire for an alternative career. To me, “alternative” is another word for liberty and freedom of choice (no, I’m not being political here). What I mean to say is that it celebrates our free will and our willpower that drives us to succeed in whatever it is we want to do, whether it is spend our life playing video games and learning how to tie a cherry stem with your tongue or joining the circus. You have 100% control over your destiny because you have the power of choice. Have fun with it. Enjoy it. Do what you love and love what you do. Live the American dream: always be in pursuit of your happiness.

I don’t care if you want to go all out and do something like some Japanese did in this article, which showcases an example of a wild alternative style: http://living.msn.com/style-beauty/simply-chic-blog-post/?post=324569dc-719f-40de-908e-2cb803e0e27e&_nwpt=1. Whatever you want to do is 100% OK with me. I support any alternative path you take.

My name ain’t eBo for nothing. If you take the words “be” and “do,” remove the “d,” and shuffle the letters, you get my name because I want you to be and do whatever you want. Don’t let anyone ever steal your dreams.

As Robert Frost said, “I took the one [road] less traveled by,/And that has made all the difference.”

Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com

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We’re there wherever you are. For the first time, Lavoce has a mobile site, which you can make into your very own mobile app. All you need to do is type in http://m.stylefreedominfomediary.com on your phone (if you forget, don’t worry because you’ll be redirected). If you have an iPhone (I know a lot of you just went out to buy the iPhone 5 and want an opportunity to use it), then just press the icon at the bottom of the screen and select “Add to Home Screen.”

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Tattoos in the News: http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/opinions/articles/2012/09/23/20120923mesa-should-settle-tattoos.html

Tattoos have gotten a few wins every now and then, such as when young suburbanite women got small tattoos on their ankles, behind the ears, on the neck, and other dainty places (e.g., Mandy Moore‘s tiny heart tattoo on her toe) because it was the “in” thing to do. They also had a small win when the definition of tattoos also covered permanent makeup, affecting other female suburbanite and city dwellers. However, they are gradual wins. For example, we have politicians who have tattoos, such as Antonio Villaraigosa, mayor of Los Angeles, who has a “born to raise hell” tattoo. However, he has to cover up all his tattoos with a suit and tie. You’ll never find him without it. This says two things: 1) he wants to keep them and 2) society does not want him to. Now we have tattoos declared as free speech, which may only be a temporary win as courts elsewhere are deciding on other free speech matters, such as whether or not books can be shut out of certain markets (See http://standwithkt.com/cause). Where do I stand on tattoos? I’m for tattoos. I even gave a speech about it in French. When you see me, you will not see my tattoos immediately, but know that I have them. Remember: Do not judge the seeming inkless lest they have ink. My dream and Lavoce’s dream is that we will have more employees like the girl with the dragon tattoo. She got a good paying job because they realized her value in the workplace and knew that “she’s the best researcher we have.” Despite everything else she endured about how others perceived her, we must remember to be thankful for the small wins and to always look for those nuggets of gold.

Transgendered in the News: http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2012/sep/24/us-inmate-sex-change/

In other news we have a prisoner seeking a male-to-female (M to F) sex change operation while serving prison. To have a change, there needs to be “Christine Jorgensens” spokespeople for the transgender and transexual population in various arenas. Prison just happens to be one arena that will affect many lives.

The attitudes we have about prison overlap the attitudes the general populace has toward tattoos. I wish it weren’t so, but a fact is a fact. Some believe that they made the choice and need to pay, painting a broad stroke for all behind bars. I believe that sometimes there are cases where a person has served their term before it’s up, especially if innocent. Is it not enough to keep them in a dictatorial city within the prison walls that we must also take away everything else they have left, including their ability to rehabilitate? Is this really how we want to be judged–as the people who condemned 5% of the world population from the young to the elderly plus those who have already done their time for minor offenses decades ago? Is that the legacy you want to pass on to your children? Or do you want to fight for what’s right? Do you want to do what you can to change people’s attitudes? It’s your life and your decision.

Resource:

Criminal Justice Fact Sheet: http://www.naacp.org/pages/criminal-justice-fact-sheet

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It took me only all of my life to get to this moment. Today is the first day that I truly realized my parents really want me to be all I can be. Never before did I realize that my parents truly want me know myself and be who I want to be. They do not want me to walk in their shoes and do what they did. They do not want me to do what they did not do. They want what’s best for me. They want me to get what I want, not what they think I want. They truly want me to think for myself; they do not want me to be their carbon copy and believe everything they believe. It only takes a few words, repeated many times in my life, but it took a lifetime to understand. My parents are my allies and my greatest fans.

I truly wish that everyone could feel what I feel today. I want to share this feeling with others.